New Years Eve Celebration at the Casino Calamari

Yes... YOU....You Are Invited!

New Years Eve Extravaganza
at the
Casino Calamari
Friday 12/31/10

7:00 pm - ?

Music by our stranded guest Jimmy Buffet and the Coral Reefer Band
with back up vocals by
the Pooses for Peace

Niptini Fountain
All you can eat buffet... tuna, ham, cheese, chicken and turkey
birdie toys
mouse souffle

Parrothead attire requested

Wishing you the happiest of New Years
(cos 2010 sucked)

Deja Vu... Jimmy Buffett Stranded Again at wee Salem's Casino Calamari

Unconfirmed sources report that Jimmy Buffett is snowed in.. again ... at the Casino Calamari located in Wee Salem, MA. (Wee Salem has defected from Salem and the Commonwealth of MA to avoid hideous taxation.)

Due to the snow storm that hit New England last night Buffett's tour bus was forced to park in the Salem Ferry Lot as there is a snow emergency parking ban in effect in Salem. ( It seems that every time Mr Buffett visits the Casino Calamari he gets stranded there.) Odd coincidence....

Mayor Kimberley Driscoll is not happy that the Salem Police have been called in.. again .. due to the loud singing and noise coming from the Casino on Christmas night. A birthday party honoring Mr Buffett was given by his close friends, the domestic terrorist feline group known as The Pooses for Peace.

The celebrity cats have been nothing but a thorn in Driscoll's side since she became the mayor of Salem. (Unconfirmed sources say the Mayor is miffed she was not invited to the party again due to her poor fashion sense and her refusal to wear a coconut bra with the mandatory parrot head grass skirt instead of her ill fitting signature black suit.)

Cats wearing coconut bras, grass skirts and leis invited the police to join the party. Several of the cats had parrots perched on their tiaras. Mayor Kimberly Driscoll denies all reports of Salem Police drinking margaritas and sporting grass skirts with coconut bras. (The mayor is concerned that the Salem Police have already had enough bad press due to the You-Tube incidents that happened near Halloween a few years ago.)

At this time the music and noise continues at the Casino Calamari. Un-manned police cars are still parked outside the Casino. The neighbors who filed the complaint have since been seen wearing orchid leis over their parkas, while drinking margaritas and dancing in the snow.

Sing along with Jimmy and the Pooses for Peace favorite winter song... Boat Drinks

Merry Christmas and Happy Buffettmas!

Happy Birthday Jimmy Buffett!
Today is a Pastafarian Holy Day.

Tonight at the Casino Calamari

Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Pooses

All you can drink margaritas and shots of tequila!
Poose buffet of ham, tuna and cat nip brownies
Bring your own parrothead attire

plan to be snowed in!

Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us!

We invite everyone to our Festivus Celebration at the Casino Calamari tonight. We will be putting up our pole at 5:00 pm followed by the reciting of the List of Grievances and then the Strengths of Feat.

The cast of Seinfeld will be there to party with us! We will be serving a Festivus holiday meal of tuna, ham and turkey with Nip-tinis and margaritas for all,


Wishing everyone a Festivus Miracle!

the pooses for peace

BREAKING NEWS...... BITE & RUN ATTACK ON SENATE FLOOR... POSSIBLE DOMESTIC TERRORIST... SWAT TEAMS AND BIOHAZARD UNITS ON THE SCENE.......

WASHINGTON --

Chaos and disruption occurred today during the Senate's vote to move forward on a a two-year extension of the Bush tax cuts for the we can only live with 5 houses, 2 yachts, 3 lear jets and 10 designer cars greedy bastard rich wealthiest Americans who are so rich they can afford a team of lawyers to make sure they don't pay any taxes.

During the vote, jumping from out of the rafters of the Senate chamber, crawling out from underneath chairs and tables, appeared hordes of cats, dogs, skunks and a few wolves all wearing Che Guevara berets that immediately on command by a cat wearing a tiara, launched into a Bite & Run Attack as well as a Poop & Run Attack followed by the ever popular Poot & Run Attack.

The only ones spared from the attack were the eight senators stood against the deal: Republican John Ensign (R-Nev.); Democrats Jeff Bingaman (N.M.), Sherrod Brown (Ohio), Russ Feingold Gillibrand (N.Y.), Pat Leahy (Vt.) and Mark Udall (Colo.); and Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), who spoke for hours against the bill on Friday. Unconfirmed sources saw a cat wearing a tiara laying in Bernie Sanders lap and purring during the entire escapade.

All senators who were bit are in stable condition in an undisclosed hospital. Some are suffering from bites to the knee, ankle and private parts and severe scratches while others are having allergic reactions to the fur and dander. Unconfirmed sources report that many of the Senators who were to receive pain medication or allergy meds were handed Flintstones Vitamins instead by what appeared to be cats wearing scrubs. However a nurse at the hospital has confirmed that there were no cats allowed in the hospital and the medication had probably taken effect. She was seen later wearing a new diamond watch with matching earrings.

Many of the senators have reported missing their iPhones, iPods, watches, keys to their Escalades, Mercedes and lear jets. Others are missing earrings, bracelets and credit cards.

A biohazard team has been brought in to fumigate the room.

Authorities were unable to capture any of the animals at the scene nor were any of the security cameras working inside the Senate chambers today. It is believed this is the work of the domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace. This group is led by celebrity cats who are known for their liberal stance and their distaste for greed and anyone who wears fur. The cats have been supportive to President Obama up until this recent incident. No suspects have been named yet. A press conference will be held shortly.

No comment from the White House has been made.

Zevo hussein Calamari, founder of the Pooses for Peace released a statement today "What Senate? What taxes? I don't ever pay taxes. Does this watch make me look fat?" Ack ... pass me that flask of tequila.. the taste of greed is disgusting.....

Merry Zappadan!

Tis the season of
Zappadan December 4th through December 21

We pooses are all way to young to remember Frank Zappa. However, Zappadan is a very important holiday according to our pet human.

Frank Zappa was born in the very same hospital as our pet human ...and passed away on her birthday in 1993. (She took it personal...and needless to say she was very excited to hear that others dedicated a season to him that starts on her birthday)

The festival of Zappadan runs from the date of Frank's death, 12/4, through the date of his birth, 12/21. We did not make this up!

We would like to invite everyone to celebrate Zappadan at the Casino Calamari for the entire season.

Bring your own dental floss, and we will provide entertainment, munchies and of course tequila.

Oh... and a happy birthday to our pet human. (We think she would like this quote too!)

“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”
Frank Zappa

Happy Birthday Nubi wan Kenobi!

It is Nubi wan Kenobi's birthday. ....Famed Jedi Knight,
member of the Pooses for Peace
and bodyguard to Meezer Ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli.

A birthday party will be held on the Forest Moon of Endor tonight.
Music by the Cantina Band

Star Wars attire is required.
Bring your own light saber.


Space shuttle leaves from the Salem Ferry lot at noon.

May the Force be with you!

Stolen Picasso Paintings ..or were they gifts?

Pierre Le Guerrec, who supposedly kept 271 previously unknown works by Pablo Picasso in his basement-garage for decades, is now under scrutiny from the artist's heirs. These unknown works by Pablo Picasso, perhaps the premier painter of the 20th century, have come to light after being stored 40 years in the Riviera garage of an electrician who worked at the artist’s villas in the early 1970s.



Le Guerrec has claimed he is innocent and never knew the paintings existed in his basement. He said that he has not been down the basement for years, but last week he heard music coming from the cellar and climbed down to investigate. "Der in de basement were many chats dancing and wearing de bery pretty tiaras. Socre blu! Pastis bottles everywhere too. I zink dat maybe I drank too much wine but NO den I see dat zee chats have many paintings hidden der. I am innoCent. Wei! oh la la"


The canvases date from 1900 to 1932, the artist’s earliest and most fertile period. They include portraits of Picasso’s first cat, Gato, a watercolor from Picasso’s famed “blue cat” period, nine inherently important Cubist collages worth tens of millions, as well as lithographs, drawings, and various studies.

The curator of the National Picasso Museum in Paris, Anne Baldassari, today described the find as “unprecedented.” Neighbors of Le Guerrec claim to have seen a horde of cats wearing berets and tiaras in and out of the home on several occasions in the past. They did not find it unusual. "Zee French cats de dress with style..no? Wei!"


Authorities are now investigating if the infamous cat burglars known as the Pooses for Peace were involved. Miss Boo, who has been awol for a few months now is the lead suspect.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from what appeared to be a cave "What paintings? Do you have any more of that pastis? Does this beret make me look fat? Oh la la! If you want to invest in some unique art please visit the Planet Calamari Etsy Shop Get 10% off if you use the code TH8NKYOU. Offer ends on December 4th.... another round of wine and cheese please!"

Cyber Monday & Birthday Week 10% Off Sale at Planet Calamari

It's my pet human's birthday week...
To celebrate we are having a 10% off sale
at the
Planet Calamari Etsy Shop


One of a kind art to wear for that boho cruchy chic look made with love and magic in our Salem MA studio.

Free shipping on most items too.
Sale ends on December 4th

Enter the code TH8NKYOU when checking out to receive your discount.
thank you!
zevo hussein calamari

Black Friday Shopping Spree

As CEO of Planet Calamari i invite you and your friends (and if you know any celebrities) to visit the Planet Calamari Art Galleria and shop. Offering handcrafted one of a kind art to wear for those who dare to dance to the beat of a bohemian drummer. Recycled Prayer earrings made from vintage rosary beads and sacred baubles. Magical bracelets embellished with antique buttons from Strega Nonna's button tin. Happy Qi fiber art wrist cuffs. Organic t-shirts and more.

Warning! These pieces are not for those who choose to wear clothing or think like Just Say No Nancy Reagan or Wolf Murderer Sarah Palin.
Our unique baubles and arm candy and tees are worn by free thinkers who sometimes dress like Cyndi Lauper, Stevie Nicks, Bette Midler, and Sheryl Crowe.



We would be honored if Iris Apfel would wear some of our wide Happy Qi Cuffs too.


You can shop in your pajamas, your undies, your ratty sweats, wine stained party dress or even naked. We don't care because we can't see you. Nobody will see you. .. except your cat... or d-o-g.

So please don't go to the mall or worse evil and oh so tacky Wal-Mart. Everyone else will be there... buying the same stuff that everyone else is buying. Crowds of cranky people who ate way too much yesterday. No parking. Gum smacking snarky clerks too busy texting their friends to help you. No annoying Brenda Lee singing Rocking Around the Christmas Tree in the background. You can choose your own music to rock out too. Have a glass of wine or an expresso while you shop.

We invite you to shop on a different planet. And with your help i can buy a new tiara.

Actually you need to click here!

thank you
xoxoxoxo
zevo hussein calamari
CEO of Planet Calamari

The First Thanksgiving

On the first Thanksgiving, the stow-away cats aboard the Mayflower held a feast with the Indian cats who befriended them when they entered this new land. Together they smoked the peace pipe, drank rum and danced to the beat of the native drums.

Unlike their human counterparts, the English pooses remained friends with their new Indian friends and respected their customs and their land.

Today pooses in America celebrate this day with a feast, rum and an occasional toke on the catnip peace-pipe while watching the Macy's Day parade in hopes of seeing the Cat in the Hat balloon.

We wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving!

We apologize for not being able to visit all the wonderful cat blogs and leave comments.
If you are on facebook please let us know so we can comment there!

Zevo hussein Calamari invites you to show until you drop at the Planet Calamari Art Galleria so that she can purchase a new pair of Jimmy Choo Shoes and matching Versace gown.

BREAKING NEWS.... JUSTIN BIEBER BIT.......

CNN
LA CA

THIS JUST IN.....

Justin Bieber is the latest victim of a Bite & Run attack at the 2010 American Music Awards. Unconfirmed sources are also reporting that Miley Cyrus was also bit and is now missing her earrings. Screams were heard through out LA last night. Reports of celebrities and stick insects wearing fur were also victims of the attacks. All are in stable condition at an undisclosed hospitial. Many are claiming missing iphones, ipods, jewelry and credit cards.

A biohazard team has been brought into the area to help disperse the horrid stench that seemed to have appeared during the attacks.

No suspects are in custody at this time. However those standing by claim to have seen a horde of cats and a few dogs wearing berets running through the crowd right before the commotion began. Authorities believe this attack was perpetrated by the feline domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace. The celebrity cats are known for their covert Bite and Run tactics mainly targeting annoying celebrities and politicians. This has been the first Bite & Run attack since the disappearance of Miss Boo, one of the co-founders of the group. Many believe that this attack was a training operation for the newest members of the Pooses for Peace.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from what seemed to be filmed in a cave "Justin Who? What is a Miley Cyrus? Is it a drink? Does this beret make me look fat? Pass me that flask of tequila, i have a horrible taste in my mouth."

This Breaking News has been brought to you by www.planetcalamari.com

Bon Jour Mademoiselle Toi

Pooses for Peace Breaking News

Hillcrest San Diego, CA

We would like to introduce the newest member of the Pooses for Peace, Mademoiselle Toi, (pronounced twah). This French beauty is now living with Miss Boo's pet human who is still pining for the day when Boo returns home. (We have been assured that Boo's tiaras and clothing will not be given to Toi nor will it even be borrowed.)

Boo's pet human was overheard saying "Toi is French. No need for tiaras. She wears a pencil skirt and a beret and smokes Gauloise. I'd like her to quit, but she's French..... I do hope Boo forgives me when she returns home and must share space now another cat."

Toi has already had an influence on Miss Lucy Fur and Luna Miso Poosie who have been seen wearing a berets and smoking Gauloises at Mo's over the weekend. Vogue magazine is rumored to have the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace wearing berets on the January cover.

A Soiree will be held this coming weekend at the Casino Calamari.
Please bring your own berets.
(Smoking is prohibited at the Casino.)
French cheese, mice and wine will be served.

Zevo Calamari Promoted to CEO of Planet Calamari Art Galleria

Associated Press
Wee Salem MA

Unconfirmed rumors are circulating that Zevo hussein Calamari, celebrity jewel thief, and famed entrepreneur has taken over the position of CEO at thePlanet Calamari Art Galleria. Sources are not sure if it was a hostile take over or if her pet human, known as Beta-chic, the owner and artist of the business just handed it over peacefully to Zevo.

Miss Calamari owns several successful businesses with her cohorts, The Pooses for Peace. Among them are The Casino Calamari, Cinema Calamari, The Holy Spaghetti Factory, A Costume shop and a few other questionable operations.

Zevo Calamari issued a statement this morning "As the new CEO of Planet Calamari Art Galleria, i intend to make this business a success. The more money my pet human makes, the more shoes i can buy. By my running this business she will have more time to create one of a kind jewelry and art. Does this bracelet make me look fat? Oh Keith dear, could you pass me that flask please."

Beta-chic was over heard saying "Do we have anymore band aids in the house?"

Keith Olbermann Spotted At Salem's Casino Calamari

Associated Press
Salem MA
BREAKING NEWS

Unconfirmed sources report that Keith Olbermann is hiding out at the Casino Calamari in Wee Salem drowning his sorrows camped out near the famed margarita fountain. Rumors are flying that his stick insect girlfriend dumped him now that he does not have a job and that he has sought the comfort of his old flame Zevo Calamari, of the Pooses for Peace.

No comment or statement has been made by Miss Calamari or the Pooses for Peace as of yet. Paparazzi are flooding the city of Salem and the new territory of Wee Salem (which declared its independence from the city of Salem early this year) in hopes of catching a picture of Keith O and the famed celebrity domestic feline terrorist.

Nubi wan Kenobi, Jedi cat and bouncer for the Casino Calamari was heard saying "Could somebody call Mexico for more tequila STAT. Does this Jedi robe make me look fat?"

Happy BlogBlast for Peace Day

Dia de Los Muertos

Salem MA

The Ghost of Frida Kahlo made her traditional appearance today in Salem. As expected, the late artist appeared at the Casino Calamari on first day of Dia de Los Muertos.

Nubi wan Kenobi the Jedi poose helps to channel the messages from Frida to the Pooses for Peace. "Bring more tequila please... and a few more bottles of paint. Throw in some new brushes por favor!"

All are invited to the Dia De Los Muertos Fiesta
at the Casino Calamari tonight and tomorrow night.
Bring your own sombreros an unibrows.
A margarita fountain will be flowing the entire evening with
an all you can eat Tuna Taco and Ham enchilada buffet!

Happy Halloween To All

Wishing you a happy Halloween and Blessed Samhain!

You are invited to the Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball
Casino Calamari
8:00 pm- ?
All you can eat spookilee-delicious buffet
Spooktini Fountin
Nip Brownies

Special Guests
The Rocky Horror Show Cast
Dr Bombay from Bewitched

The Poose Vampire Ball Tonight!

Salem MA

Hordes of cats, dogs and celebrities have been seen wandering through Salem, MA in anticipation of the annual Poose Vampire Ball held at the haunted Hawthorne Hotel tonight. (not to be confused with The Annual Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball which is held on Halloween Night at the Casino Calamari) All those who attending tonight's gala must wear a vampire costume. Many cats have had their teeth sharpened for the event.

This event is invitation only. Invitees are picked by the celebrity cats known as the Gatti della Strega (the Witch Cats). A few years ago the mayor of Salem was said to have fainted while at the ball, at the sight of Captain Jack Sparrow and claims her earrings were stolen by the cats. The cats and the mayor have been feuding since that event.

Rumors that the cast of Dark Shadows, the cast from Twilight will attend, as well as Anne Rice, Stephen King, the cast of the old BEWITCHED TV series and the new movie. Brad Pitt with-out scary Angelina & the wretched kids.

Rumors are flying that George Clooney will attend in hopes to find the missing Miss Boo and apologize. Clooney dumped Miss Boo for a stick insect underwear model. Boo fled the country and is now MIA. Unconfirmed sources believe Miss Boo is in Salem and has been wearing a disguise and is now dating Captain Jack Sparrow.

Once again, this year the mayor of Salem Kim Driscoll was not invited to the ball. When asked why the mayor was snubbed, Spokes-poose Zevo Hussein Calamari replied "She can go hang out at that tacky carnival in her black suit with those carnies that she forced on the city of Salem. Tomorrow evening she can watch the$20,000 light show over the wrecking yard."

The mayor of Salem has brought in extra security for this event and has issued a warning to all residents to keep all valuable jewelry in a safe deposit box for the weekend. "Those cats are a menace to society. My carnival provides family friendly entertainment and the Fiesta Show people are just the salt of the earth. Not to mention they contribute to my campaign fund It really does take that much away from the other local businesses and food vendors who work so hard all year round. We all need more fried dough in our diet."

Samantha's Costume shop in Salem and the new Calamari Costume Shop of Wee Salem has reported that the top selling costume for female cats is the Miss Boo ensemble along with the Cheysuli Presidential costume. For younger male cats, the "Nubi wan Kenobi Jedi "costume has been flying off the racks. Other costumes such as Bite & Run jackets, Poop & Run jackets and Poot & Run jackets seem to be very popular this year with many of the cat tourists.

More security will be brought into Salem tomorrow night where 100,000 cats, dogs and skunks are expected to roam the city. The Pooses for Peace will hold their annual Halloween Ball tomorrow evening at the famed Casino Calamari located in Wee Salem.

Strega Zevo Calamari Reads the Cards

Wee Salem Haunted Happenings Event

Strega cat Zevo Calamari will be doing tarot readings all week at the Casino Calamari.

Nubi wan Kenobi will be giving Ghost Tours all week through out Salem.

Luna Miso Poosie and Che Nikki will be telling Ghost stories at the House of Seven Gables.

Miss Lucy Fur and Miss Boo um a few unknown cats will be performing the Pirates of Pennzance on the tallship the Friendship on Friday and Saturday evening.

Monkay the thumbed poose with be performing Houdini's tricks at the Casino Calamari at the Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball.

Saturday evening:
The Vampire Poose Ball
Hawthorne Hotel Salem MA
8pm-?
Wear and sharpen your own fangs
Formal vamp attire please

Sunday Halloween:
The Pooses for Peace Halloween Ball
By invite only
Casino Calamari
Special guests :
Dr Bombay
The Rocky Horror Show folks

New Costume Shop Opens in Wee Salem

Wee Salem MA

Another new business has sprung up in the Wee Salem District owned and run by the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace. The cats known for their entrepreneurial talents had the grand opening of The Calamari Costume Shop, right in time for the Halloween season this evening. A party will be held at the Casino Calamari tonight to jump start the Halloween week. Scores of celebrities and hordes of cats have been seen strolling through Salem into Wee Salem all day.

Mayor Zevo hussein Calamari along with friends Miss Lucy Fur, Nubi wan Kenobi, Che Nikki, Monkay and Luna Miso Poosie and an unknown cat in costume celebrated their new enterprise by drinking shots of Strega while cutting the ribbon. Rumors are circulating that the unknown cat is the missing Miss Boo.

Unlike normal costume shops, this unique store offers costumes for cats, dogs, skunks and even humans. This year's best seller is the Miss Boo costume which comes with a Miss Boo Mask, an emerald tiara, Jimmy Choo shoes and Versace strapless gown. Another popular Miss Boo costume include a Miss Boo mask, a pirate hat, wench dress, and bottle of rum. Unconfirmed sources believe many cats will dress as Miss Boo this Halloween so that the real Miss Boo can go undetected in Salem. Boo is currently wanted by the FBI, CIA and Homeland Security. Authorities have not been able to pinpoint her where abouts but believe she marched in the Haunted Happenings Parade with her cohorts and her new lover, Captain Jack Sparrow.

"Costumes of celebrity cats such as Cheysuli, The Meezer Boys, Jedi Nubi wan kenobi have been very popular as well." said Luna Miso Poosie, who has been promoted to sales manager of the shop. "Our least popular is the Mayor Kim Driscoll costume which includes an ill fitting black suit, black wig, black clunky shoes, a clipboard and a chainsaw."

No tax will be charged on goods sold since the store resides in the Wee Salem, (which has been declared the 51 state by the cats after seceding from the city of Salem and the Commonwealth of MA.) The cats also own Casino Calamari, Cinema Calamari, The Holy Spaghetti Factory and a sushi bar. All are located in the Wee Salem borders.

X-Files Agnets Mulder & Scully Spotted in Salem MA

Associated Press
Salem MA

Less than a week ago the small city of Salem MA experienced what is believed to be a UFO close encounter over the Haunted Happenings Parade. Several witnesses believe it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Salem has a few devotees of this so called pasta God. They are known as pastafarians. The infamous Pooses for Peace are believed to be part of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and were in the parade when the FSM appeared.

Mayor Driscoll blames the celebrity cats for inviting the FSM to the event and upsetting the warm fuzzy family atmosphere of the parade. CIA, FBI and NASA agents are still investigating the event. Agents have been seen dining at In A Pig's Eye and the Lobster Shanty all week. Others have been spotted having tarot readings at the Oracle Chamber and Laurie Cabot's shop. Mayor Driscoll has been seen every night at Cafe Verona ordering pasta dishes. We can only hope she has an extra black suit in a larger size if this continues.

The US government has issued a statement. "There is no such thing as UFOs or a Flying Spaghetti Monster. We are certain it was a weather balloon passing over the parade.

Fox Mulder and partner Dana Scully refused to comment on the possibility that Salem has been over run by aliens. Fox was over heard saying "I want to believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Where can we get a good plate of pasta in this town?"

No word if the wanted feline Miss Boo was in the parade along with the celebrity cats and Jack Sparrow. A familiar looking cat wearing a blonde wig, sunglasses and an emerald tiara was seen cuddling with Capt Jack Sparrow. When spokes-poose Zevo Calamari was asked if Boo was in Salem for the holiday her response was "Boo who? Does this pirate hat make me look fat. Check out these phone numbers in this iphone i found......... pass me a shot of Strega darlin'...."

BREAKING NEWS FROM SALEM MA.....ALERT......

BREAKING NEWS LIVE FROM SALEM MA ....... This just in.... Commotion and chaos in progress at the Haunted Happenings Parade. Reports of a UFO hovering over the parade dripping spaghetti sauce. Authorities are now at the scene.

Unconfirmed sources believe it is the Flying Spaghetti Monster and was invited by its devotees, the Pooses for Peace who appeared in tonight's parade mysteriously along with several celebrities and Captain Jack Sparrow.

A Press Conference will be held as soon as order has been restored and the crowds dispersed. Mayor Kim Driscoll has reportedly been touched by the Noodley being and her suit is in stable condition with sauce stains.

Stay tune for updates live from Salem. This portion of your local news has been brought to you by Ragu Sauce.

City of Salem Issues Warning For Haunted Happenings Parade

Salem MA

The City of Salem just put out a red alert warning for Thursday night's Haunted Happenings Parade. Authorities are concerned that the city has been unusually quite this week. The so called domestic terrorist group (named by authorities) known as the Pooses for Peace are nowhere to be seen in Salem. In fact since the Friendship disappeared - then mysteriously reappeared with a note and a bottle of rum- nobody has since seen the cats. Unconfirmed sources believe the cats are on a tropical island with Captain Jack Sparrow along with the missing Miss Boo, who is wanted by the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security and Interpol.

In the past years celebrities and hordes of cats poured into Salem the week of the parade to march with the celebrity cats known as The Pooses for Peace. This boosted business for every cafe, bar and restaurant in the area and Salem's economy. Celebrities such as Nicole Kidman, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Oprah, Cher and countless others marched in the parade with the cats and their BFF Captain Jack Sparrow. Later paparazzi and celebrities were seen at local hotspots, shops and having their palms read.

However, every year the cats have been accused of causing a disturbance. mayhem and unpredictable chaos. Reports of missing watches, earrings and iPods increased during each parade. The cats have been a thorn in Mayor Kim Driscoll's side ever since she tried to upstage the cats at the parade. (However she has yet to succeed.)
If you don't remember here are the links!
parade 2007 click here for memories of 2007 parade!
parade 2008 click here if you forgot about 2008's parade!
parade 2009 click here if you forget 2009

Authorities are worried the cats and their legions of Bite & Run, Poot & Run, Whap & Run and Poop & Run Patrols may make a surprise appearance at the parade on Thursday and cause a rukus. Unconfirmed sources believe that Mayor Driscoll is afraid that the deity known as the Flying Spaghetti Monster will appear at the parade again thus causing her ill fitting black suit to once again be covered in red sauce.

Mayor Driscoll issued a statement: "These cats are a menace to society. They will not rain on my parade. Oh...and I am BFF with Captain Jack Sparrow- he will be with ME this Friday night as I lead the wretched children of Salem around town for free candy. I am craving pasta can someone deliver a plate of spaghetti to City Hall for lunch?"

A video of spokespoose Zevo hussein Calamari was broadcast today with her statement. "Kim who? Jack darlin' could you pour us more rum dear? Does this pirate hat make me look fat?"

Boston Police and Top Secret Air Force officials have been called in case they are needed. Still- nobody seems to know if the cats and their cohorts will even show up.

Celebrity Cats Spotted On Tortuga Island

Associated Press
Costa Rica

Unconfirmed sources have reported seeing the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace and Captain Jack Sparrow on Tortuga Island over the weekend. It is believed that the missing feline Miss Boo was seen dancing on the beach with Sparrow wearing a coconut bra, a sequined bikini bottom and an emerald tiara.

The cats and Sparrow are suspects in the latest commandeering of Salem's tall ship The Friendship. However in a mysterious turn of events over the weekend, the Friendship is now back at Derby Wharf unharmed. Authorities have no explaination on how the ship appeared with no passengers aboard.

As Halloween approaches, Salem's mayor Kim Driscoll is holding her breath waiting to hear if the cats will march in the Haunted Happenings Parade. Extra security and police have been requested for this years event.

In the past few years the cats have been accused of disturbing the peace at the event. Last year it is rumored that the Flying Spaghetti Monster appeared at the parade and touched Dricoll with his Noodley Appendage, thus causing her to crave pasta. (Later in the year she also sponsered a Spaghetti Dinner.) The celebrity cats are devotees of the flying deity. (Driscoll is not.)

THE FRIENDSHIP MISSING!!!!!!!

Associated Press
Salem MA

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salem's tall ship known as The Friendship vanished sometime last night. Baffled authorities found a small boat docked on the beach of Derby Wharf with a note which read "Yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me!" An empty bottle of rum was also found in the boat.

Homeland security, The FBI and CIA have been brought in to investigate the whereabouts of the missing ship. The Salem Police are still on manhole duty on Bridge Street and Highland Ave.

Meanwhile the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace were nowhere to be found in Salem or Wee Salem today. Unconfirmed sources believe the cats have once again commandeered the Friendship with pirate Captain Jack Sparrow. It is believed Sparrow is having an affair with celebrity cat Miss Boo who has been missing for several weeks. Rumors are flying that Boo and Capt Jack have been staying on a tropical island hiding from authorities and paparazzi.

Security Beefed Up In SalemProtecting The Friendship

Associated Press
Salem MA

On the eve of Talk Like A Pirate Day , Salem's Mayor Kim Driscoll has requested the city of Boston for extra police coverage for the tall ship known as The Friendship. (Salem police were too busy guarding manholes on Highland Ave this weekend to protect the ship.)

Driscoll and city officials are worried that the domestic terrorist cats known as the Pooses for Peace may commandeer the ship (again) along with their BFF, Captain Jack Sparrow. The shipped disappeared last year and the pirate cats were blamed, although no proof was found.

The cats are Pastafarians, devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster . Talk Like A Pirate Day is a Pastafarian Holy day and all those who worship the Noodley deity must wear pirate regalia, eat pasta and drink rum or red wine.

Last year the cats and Captain Jack Sparrow walked in the Haunted Happenings Parade causing an uproar and much needed excitement during the boring parade. Driscoll has declared that this year she will not be upstaged (again) by the cats. No word if they have decided to be in this year's parade.

Zevo hussein Calamari, mayor of Wee Salem issued a statement " Um... like... Kim who? What ship? Does this pirate hat make me look fat? Pass the rum... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh"

A Message from Miss Lucy Fur

Hello All,

Tomorrow night we're planning our second Purr Vigil at Urban Mo's in Hillcrest. You are all invited. I am hoping Miss Boo tweets her location soon so the Queen's Corgis and I can fly out to meet her.

The old 'hood just isn't the same without her. Besides, she never returned my tiara and I think she took my new fall leopard skin Choos with the platform heels with her and I need them!

Boo....call home NOW!!

Kiss Kiss,

Miss Lucy Fur

Consulting the Oracle in Search of Miss Boo

It has been almost two weeks since anyone has seen Miss Boo. I have decided to do a tarot reading on her safety and whereabouts.

The cards seem promising. The Lovers card turned up which may portend a good union, perhaps a secret lover? Which would explain why she is hiding from the paparazzi. (but why us?) The Chariot card - means movement and travel. My guess is she is hiding somewhere in Europe or a tropical island with her secret lover. And the last card is the Sun which means the tropical island is most likely and that Boo and her lover are basking in the light of their new found love.

Or perhaps she is hiding with that stolen Van Gogh sunflower picture......So there is hope.

Please continue to pray and purr that Miss Boo returns home safely. Boo if you are reading this - take a moment and call, email, or tweet that you are OK. We love and miss you.

zevo and the pooses for peace

Sunday Update

Thank you all for your kind words, prayers, purrs and love. So far no word about Miss Boo. Her pet human has posted her pic all over Hillcrest San Diego, called neighbors and roamed the area calling her name. She may be trapped in someone's garage or perhaps someone found her and took her. We are all hoping for a miracle.

Will continue to keep you posted. It is easier via facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/PoosesForPeace?ref=ts

I am sorry my pet human cannot respond to every comment. We are still working on an antique mac which does not do well when opening up cool blogs.

love
zevo & the pooses for peace

Miss Boo Please Come Home NOW

My BFF, Miss Boo has been missing since Tuesday according to her pet human. We are having a nonstop purr-a-thon and lighting candles in hopes our prayers will be answered soon that Boo will return home safe and healthy ASAP.

Boo... if you are reading this get your cute furry butt home now so we can plan our next party. We love you. Hurry home.. there is fresh nip, tequila and a new tiara waiting.

We will keep you posted. Thank you for all your purrs and prayers.

zevo and the pooses for peace

What Painting?

Van Gogh 'Poppy Flowers' painting valued at $50 million stolen in Egypt still missing

Happy Birthday Boo!

Today is Miss Boo. my BFF's birthday! Please celebrate with us tonight at the Moulin Rouge. We have rented the entire Ritz Carlton in Paris for all of our friends and members of the Pooses for Peace. Miss Boo, Miss Lucy Fur and i will be staying in Paris for the rest of the week and perhaps a bit longer depending on how we feel. Life at home has been a bore here in Salem with the new d-o-g and now that there is a c-o-y-o-t-e in Miss Lucy Fur and Boo's backyard we need a vacation!

Please bring your own tiaras and top hats.
ciao ciao
zevo

Ding Dong the Gay Marriage Ban is Dead!

"

SAN FRANCISCO — A federal judge overturned California's gay-marriage ban Wednesday in a landmark case that could eventually force the U.S. Supreme Court to confront the question of whether same-sex couples have a constitutional right to wed.

Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker made his ruling in a lawsuit filed by two gay couples who claimed the voter-approved ban violated their civil rights.

Gay couples and gay pooses waving rainbow and American flags outside the courthouse cheered, hugged and kissed as word of the ruling spread. Cats and dogs wearing tiaras and rainbow glitter t shirts danced in the streets.

"This is a victory for the American people and their pooses. It's a victory for our justice system," said former U.S. Solicitor General Theodore Olson, who delivered the closing argument at trial for opponents of the ban.

Zevo hussein Calamari, spokespoose for the Pooses for Peace issued a statement from Wee Salem's Casino Calamari" Then this is a day of independence for all the gay folk and their descendants. Infamy! Let the joyous news be spread. ...the Wicked bigoted law now is dead! A party to celebrate will be hosted by the Pooses for Peace this weekend at Mo's in Hillcrest San Diego! Bring your own tiara.... do these ruby slippers make me look fat? Pass the tequila please."

Sushi Bar Opens in Wee Salem

Associated Press
Salem MA

The celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace opened another restaurant at the famed Casino Calamari in Wee Salem over the weekend. Their latest enterprise is a revolving state of the art sushi bar called Ika Sush. Jedi Nubi wan Kenobi is the head Itamae (sushi chef). Celebrities and hordes of cats have been flocking to Salem over the weekend just to be seen dining at Ika Sushi.

At the ribbon cutting ceremony Mayor Zevo, Miss Boo, and Miss Lucy Fur wore black Versace couture, Jimmy Choo shoes and tiaras to match their eyes. Luna miso Poosie donned a pair of Monolos especially made for her 8 toed paws. Other members of the Pooses for Peace present at the ceremony. A few were inebriated but all were well dressed.

Casino Calamari is located in the 51st state of the USA, known as Wee Salem. Once a part of Salem, MA, the cats decided that being taxed to the hilt in the Commonwealth along combined with the city of Salem's latest tax hike on dining and entertainment to fund the mayor's whims was no longer acceptable. So they seceded and formed their own state. The mayor of Wee Salem is Zevo hussein Calamari, a thorn in the side of Salem's mayor Kimberley Driscoll. The city of Salem has not issued a comment about the latest restaurant opening. Unconfirmed sources have reported that the mayor has hired another consultant to review the impact of the cats' businesses on traffic.

Mayor Calamari issued a statement" Arigato! Welcome to Ika Sushi. Eat, drink and be merry... all tax free. Parking is free in our underground garage. Pass me another sake please."

Paul the Psychic Octopus invited to Wee Salem!

Associated Press
Salem MA


Paul the psychic octopus who predicted the winner of every game in the World Cup has been invited to stay at the Casino Calamari in Wee Salem MA. The mystic mollusk confirmed his flawless accuracy after Spain lifted the trophy, beating Holland 1-0.

The celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace asked their new friend the clairvoyant cephalopod to come to Wee Salem MA and perform psychic readings at their famed casino. Salem is known for its witches, psychics and anything that has to do with the occult. (Wee Salem is now its own state and has seceded from the state of MA and city of Salem, MA.)

The celebrity cats and their entourage were invited to watch the final match between Spain and the Netherlands by Shakira. Several other cats, dogs, skunks and various animals were spotted sitting in the stadium watching the game. Many were inebriated. Several of the leather bracelets worn by Shakira are now reported to be missing.

Unconfirmed sources report that Mayor Kimberley Driscoll is quite miffed the cats secured the psychic octopus before her. None of the income made by the casino can be taxed since Wee Salem has declared its independence.

Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement from the Soccer City Stadium in Johannesburg , South Africa: " Viva Espana! We are pleased that Paul the octopus has agreed to join the Pooses for Peace and live with us at our casino. We are hoping to engage him in his psychic abilities to raise more money for us to spend ...um good causes. Do these leather bracelets make me look fat? Pass me some of that sangria por favore."

Our Newest Member of the Poop & Run Brigade!

The Pooses for Peace are happy to announce our latest inductee of the infamous Poop & Run Brigade, Miss Quan Yin Wu who will go by her chosen covert name, Poopalina when on duty.

Miss Poopalina through rigorous training at Poop Boot Camp, proved her ability to poop nonstop all week, and performed explosive displays several nights. Unfortunately her pet humans took her to the V-E-T for flagyl after trying every holistic remedy possible to stop it. (Incense is still burning through out the house and yard in hopes of masking the stench!)

The Poop & Run Brigade is famous for its sneak attacks on politicians, annoying celebrities and greedy corporate wall street thugs, (not to mention a few attacks on the Supreme Court and the White House during the W era. A biohazard team must be brought in after an attack. The Bush administration declared the Pooses for Peace a domestic terrorist group with Weapons of Mass Destruction. The Obama administration has cleared the group of all charges and issued a statement. " Cats poop. Dogs poop. Bo poops all the time- does that him a terrorist? Don't ask about the poop. We will not tell you about the poop."

Miss Wu will be under the command of senior Poop & Run generals. She is now living with celebrity cats Zevo hussein Calamari, Nubi wan Kenobi and the 8 toed wonder Luna miso Poosie.

All are invited to the Casino Calamari to celebrate
8:00 pm
All you can eat buffet
Margarita fountain
Cat nip brownies
Bean & Cabbage Dog Treats!

Music by the B52s

Happy Birthday Frida Kahlo

I hope the leaving is joyful; and I hope never to return.
Frida Kahlo

The movie Frida will be featured tonight at the Cinema Calamari.

Frida attire is requested, unibrow and red lipstick for females.
Males... sombreros and Diego attire will do!
Featuring an all you can eat Mexican buffett with a margarita bar!
Ole'

Peace Love Pooses

Associated Press
Salem MA

The celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace and their friend Captain Jack Sparrow joined Salem's favorite local band Britannica on Derby Wharf last night for the 4th of July festivities. Zevo hussien Calamari, Miss Boo, Miss Lucy Fur, Che Nikki, Nubi wan Kenobi, Luna miso Poosie and numerous other cats danced and sang back up vocals on stage while Britannica played.

Mayor Kimberley Driscoll beefed up security in anticipation that the cats and their pirate friend, Sparrow would commandeer the tall ship known as the Friendship. Unconfirmed sources also claim that Driscoll wore ankle and knee guards under her signature ill fitting black suit for fear of another Bite & Run.

The celebrity cats and the mayor have had several run ins in the past and have been blamed for stealing the Friendship along with another tall ship in the past. Zevo hussein Calamari is still very miffed that she lost the mayoral election to Driscoll because the City of Salem refused to count the thousands of votes cast by cats, dogs, squirrels and people in the election.

Earlier in the day the cats and Capt Jack Sparrow were seen dancing on their own float at the Salem Willows parade. They followed the float mocking the Dominion Coal Plant and Mayor Driscoll.

The cats, Britannica and Sparrow were said to stumble out of The Witches Brew late last night and then partied the night away at the famed Casino Calamari.

Various claims of earrings, watches and diamonds have been reported missing from those attending the parade and concert according to the Salem Police log. No suspects have been named.

Miss Zevo hussein Calamari issued a statement. "What earrings? Does this pirate hat make me look fat? Please pass me another margarita! arrrrrrgh"

Captain Jack Sparrow Seen in Salem?

Associated Press
Salem MA

Unconfirmed sources report that Captain Jack Sparrow has been seen staggering around Salem today with several inebriated cats. Rumors are flying that his friends, the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace have flown back from France along with him to attend the Fourth of July festivities on Derby Wharf this weekend.

The cats have been vacationing at the Ritz Carlton in Paris to get away from the stresses of their daily lives. Zevo hussein Calamari has recently been subjected to live with a ... d-o-g. Miss Boo, who was engaged to George Clooney last year is still depressed that he dumped her for a stick insect underwear model. Miss Lucy Fur is now off her medication and is quite unpredictable when provoked.

Salem Mayor, Kimberley Driscoll has called for extra security to be placed on Derby Wharf and around the tall ship the Friendship. Last May the ship "disappeared" and did not return to Salem until November. The National Park Service claimed that the ship had been in Boothbay Harbor, Maine, for repairs. Unconfirmed sources revealed that the ship was actually hijacked earlier last year by the cats and Captain Jack Sparrow. To save face the City of Salem agreed to play along with the ship needs repair story. The cats and the Mayor of Salem have had tumultuous relationship the past several years. Recently the cats declared their independence from the City of Salem by calling their property Wee Salem.

Locals are hoping the celebrity cats and Capt Jack Sparrow will have a float in the Horribles Parade on Sunday at the Salem Willows. This parade makes a mockery of local politics and news.. and especially is fond of mocking the mayor and her signature black suit.

Rumors are circulating that the celebrity cats and Sparrow will be performing back up vocals for one their favorite local Salem bands, Britannica on Sunday at 5pm on Derby Wharf. You can become a fan at Britannica

Fireworks and a party will follow at Wee Salem's Casino Calamari.

Meanwhile in Salem .....

It is time to train my dog, Quan Yin how to to sit, stay and do stuff i want to do, so i am studying the Monks of New Skete book- How To Be Your Dog's Best Friend. Zevo is going to be sooooo put out about this!

Celebrity Cats Seen in Paris

Associated Press
Paris, France

The celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace and their entourage were seen arriving in Paris last night on their private solar powered jet.

Unconfirmed sources report that spokes-poose Zevo hussein Calamari decided to go to Europe for the summer to get away from her pet humans and their new rescue d-o-g. Close friends of Zevo believe that she is quite miffed that they did not consult her about the adoption.

Zevo is even more put out that roomie Nubi wan Kenobi is now BFF with the d-o-g. Nubi wan was not invited on this summer vacation. Luna miso Poosie also chose to stay in Salem instead of going to Paris with the girls and released a statement: "They mock my feet in Paris. I rather be with the freaks and witches of Salem....and i really do not trust that large beast roaming in my home. Someone needs to monitor this situation."

Miss Boo, BFF to Zevo and Miss Lucy Fur is still recovering from her break up with George Clooney who dumped her for a stick insect underwear model. Miss Lucy Fur is hoping to reunite with her true love, Her Majesty's corgie while in Europe. Miss Boo was heard saying "This summer vacation is our time to heal, play, shop and um like score some cool stuff at the Louvre. um...take in fine art.

The cats and their friends are staying at the Ritz Carlton in Paris. No word of how long their stay will be in their favorite city. Security at the Louvre has been beefed up since their arrival.

Happy Birthday Che

You are invited to:
A Grande Fiesta at the Casino Calamari
in honor of Che Guevara's birthday!
Monday June 14
7:00 pm- ?

Mojitos, Cigars and Music by The Buena Vista Social Club
Special guests Benicio del Toro and Fidel Castro
Wear your own beret and combat fatigues
Please bring your own asthma inhaler

"If you tremble indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine."

- Ernesto Che Guevara

Nubi's BFF

She's here... and she is MY dog. Her name is Quan Yin and we are totally BFFs. She lets me nap near her. I use her dog bed. I love her crate- even though she has never been in it.... and she has black fur like me.
Luna is still hissing obscenities at her and Zevo just ignores her. So Quan Yin is mine.. all mine. I am so happy the pet humans finally got me a dog to play with.

I am a very happy poose!
Nubi wan Kenobi

Who Said D-O-G?

So sorry we have not been around- the pet human has been busy and having lots of iBook problems. The rumor around here is that we are finally getting a D-O-G... shhhhhhhh we can't let Zevo know or she will flip! Luna is not sure what a D-O-G is yet.

I personally love d-o-gs. I believe i was a black lab in a past life or perhaps a d-o-g in a cat's body this lifetime. I want a d-o-g. After all- my real name is Anibus, the d-o-g god of the dead. (pet humans now refer to me as Nubi, Nubi wan Kenobi, Mr Nubi, Senor Poosehead, NUBI GET DOWN FROM THERE NOW and other various names depending on what i am doing. Some i shall not repeat.)

So as we prepare the house for the arrival of my d-o-g, Kuan Yin a rescue from TN i shall read all i can about d-o-gs in my favorite magazines, BARK and Whole D-O-G Journal.

Time to go pour Zevo another margarita....
xooxox
nubi wan kenobi