Year of the Tiger Celebration!

Come celebrate the Chinese New Year of the Tiger with us.

Confucius say "It is good fortune to dance with cat"

Casino Calamari

Sunday February 14

3:00 pm- 3:00 am

Open bar includes Ginseng Nip-tini's, Mai Tais, Corona and Jose Cuervo Red.

Cat nip fortune cookies! Plenty of good take out Chinese Food!

The Lion Dance will be performed by The Kung Poose Dancing Troupe, mostly made up of Pooses for Peace members.

Special Guest

Toni the Tiger

Please wear red for good fortune! Bring your own chop sticks.


Gung Hay Fat Choy

Pooses for Peace to Buy Salem Church

SALEM — The former St. Mary's Italian Church is for sale.

The executive director of the Salem Mission, now known as Lifebridge, made the surprise announcement yesterday, saying the nonprofit organization has hired commercial real estate appraisers to set a price on the 1925 church building. The property will go on the market "as soon as we determine a value," Cote said.

Unconfirmed sources report that the infamous group of cats known as the Pooses for Peace have already made an offer and are in negotiations to buy the church. The members of the so called liberal domestic terrorist organization are devout Pastafarians, (followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ). The celebrity cats plan to refurbish the building into the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Rumors are also flying that the cats intend to also add a restaurant adjacent to the building and call it The Holy Spaghetti Factory. The facility will include underground parking for its patrons, a beer volcano and a pirate theme boutique.

This is not the first appearance of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in Salem. Unconfirmed sources say that the FSM appeared at the Haunted Happenings parade last October causing chaos in the small city. click here if you forgot!

Mayor Kimberley Driscoll is opposed to her nemesis's plan. She released the following statement: "We will need to hire a consultant and hold meetings to discuss the impact of this. That could take years and several thousands of dollars. Then we will have to lay off more teachers and firemen. Those cats are a menace to society. The city of Salem has had enough of this Flying Pasta nonsense ........ could you have my secretary make a reservation at Bella Verona for tonight? I lost my iPhone again."

Spokes-poose, Zevo Hussein Calamari issued a statement this morning as well: "For all those concerned about where the homeless shelter will be placed, we have decided to use City Hall since nobody ever seems to be there anyway. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster touch the city of Salem with his Noodly goodness. RAmen! ... does this iPhone make me look fat? ..........."

Quick....hide the evidence!

Ohhhhhhhhhhh my head..... turn that light off.........ack anyone have some ginger ale?

That was some house trashing party last night. We just inducted our new friends and downstair neighbors Oliver and Jake into the Pooses for Peace. One of the requirements for all inductees is to throw a house trashing party.... and those boys really know how to throw one!

um like please pass the aspirin and you guys have fun cleaning this mess........ i need to go lay down

ciao ciao

zevo

Oh waiter ... this is Not what i ordered

The service here at Rancho Calamari has been pretty bad lately. The pet humans are working a lot and none of us are happy about it. Why just today i was served this measly bowl of crunchies instead of the tuna souffle with mouse sauce that i ordered.

I am not leaving a tip. And later someone may get bit.

i am Luna hear me roar!

xoxoxo

luna diPoosalita

Happy GroundHog Day!

We will be showing the movie GroundHog Day today at the Cinema Calamari

over and over and over.

All are invited!

Join the Bite & Run Patrol!

Graduates of the Calamari Institute for Professional Biting

Looking for a a new career? The Calamari Institute for Professional Biting is now accepting applications for the Winter 2010 semester.

Learn how to bite ankles, knees and other fun human parts. Study the art of covert biting. Our graduates have gone on to bite celebrities and many politicians, such as Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, Nicole Richie, P Diddy, Karl Rove, Paris Hilton and others we are not permitted to mention (or admit to, such as the Supreme Court!)

Be a part of the prestigious Bite & Run Patrol which has been making headline news. This winter semester our list of professors include Covert Operations Biter, Lucy Fur, best known for her biting debut with Dick Cheney and Dr Phil.

Also teaching celebrity biting will be Zevo Calamari and Miss Boo. Both are famous for biting Paris Hilton, Vanessa Paradis (wife of Johnny Depp), Toby Keith and that whiney country chick with the red hair.

Other professors include Martial arts instructor Tao and her sidekick Sarge. Nubi wan Kenobi will be teaching Jedi theory on how to use the force during a bite attack.

Our guest professors for this semester, Monkay and Luna diPoosalita, the thumbed cat duo will be teaching the fine art of picking locks and opening doors for speedy get-aways.

Earn your required Continuing Education Units by attending the Poot & Run Intensive taught by Billy Sweetfeets or the ever popular Whap & Run technique by his brothers, the Meezers .

The art of negotiation will be offered by the esteemed ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli along with fashion advice from Daisy the Curlycat and how to wear a proper Che beret by Miss Nikki.

Hurry... operators are standing by. Call now to sign up before classes are filled.

In a few short months you too will be a part of THE BITE & RUN PATROL!

1-800-CAT-BITE

se hablamos espanol

BREAKING NEWS..... BITE & RUN SUPREME COURT HOUSE

THIS JUST IN.......

During a top secret party held by the US Supreme Court justices who ruled that there would not be any campaign finance limits so that big corporations can take over the planet, a horde of cats , dogs, skunks, polar bears and a lone wolf all wearing Che hats, appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to attack all those who voted for this far-ranging decision that insures the already broken and corrupt American political system will become even more so almost immediately, barring the unlikely passage of new laws by the current spineless Congress.

Security officers in the building heard screams coming from the room but thought the judges had hired hookers to celebrate. By the time security guards decided to check on the judges, the animals had already disappeared from the building.

All justices suffered severe bite injuries. and scratches. A few had allergy attacks. One fainted at the sight of the polar bears while another screamed "Where is Sarah Palin and her rifle?... There is a wolf in here!" All were taken to an undisclosed hospital and given pain medication and antihistamines and are in stable condition. All who attended the party are missing their iphones and watches.

A biohazard unit was brought in to remove the peculiar odor and puddles on the floor. All robes were burned as no stain remover on the planet could possible save them.

Authorities have not named any suspects however it is believed this is the work of the liberal terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace and their loyal legions of Bite & Run patrols.

Miss Zevo hussein Calamari, spokes-poose for the Pooses for Peace releases a statement" Well that is justice for you and instant karma! What iphones. Does this robe make me look fat? Ack pas the tequila.. the after -taste of greed is so hard to get out of my mouth...ack ack............."

Stay tuned to CNN for more news .....

Pooses for Peace Join Telethon For Haiti

NEW YORK TIMES

The celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace are among the latest stars to take part in George Clooney's “Hope for Haiti Now: A Global Benefit for Earthquake Relief,” a two-hour telethon on Friday night to be broadcast around the world on television and online. The show, which in the United States will begin at 8 p.m.

Clooney begged the infamous cats and their entourage to leave Salem MA and join him in LA so they can be on stage beside him. However, the cats will be performing live at their Casino Calamari along with Jimmy Buffett and Capt Jack Sparrow instead.

Rumors are still flying that Clooney's fiance Miss Boo is more than just miffed that he was seen snogging with a stick insect underwear model. Miss Boo has not been wearing the so called engagement ring either. No word if the couple have split or if this is just a lover's tiff. Unconfirmed sources believe this is the real reason the cats will not be in LA.

TMZ claims it is because the cats have several restraining orders against them. In the past they were known to bite any celebrity seen wearing fur such as Beyonce, P.Diddy, Lindsay Lohan, JLo and the Olsen twins. Bono has lost several pairs of glasses whenever he performed with the cats. A few pair were illegally sold on eBay.

We Tried and Lost

Dear Papa Lion,

We tried to keep your legacy going. Unfortunately the people of Massachusetts have become complacent, greedy and have been listening to way too much rabid talk radio. We now have a Ken doll as our new senator. Perhaps some just took it for granted that a democrat would win... how could they lose in a secure blue state? The lesson- never take anything for granted.

We the Pooses for Peace promise to be the pooses for the people. Our Bite and Run brigades will once again return to Washington and remind those who have been elected that they were elected for the people. Look out Wall Street...if this administration does not take you on...we will.

Never underestimate the wrath of pack of angry cats.

Viva La Revolucion

The Pooses for Peace

Bite & Run Patrols on Red Alert in MA

Associated Press

Commonwealth of Massachusetts 

Unconfirmed sources believe that the liberal domestic feline terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace has returned to Massachusetts. 

The celebrity founders of the organization were in France staying with Johnny Depp and his family. Rumors are flying that the cats bit Vanessa Paradis, wife of the famed star who then threw the cats out (literally). This may have been what prompted the cats to return back to the USA to help elect a democrat to fill the late Ted Kennedy's place. The cats were friends with Kennedy and his dogs and promised to do whatever they could to make sure his legacy lived on in Congress. Right wing conspiracy pundits such as nutjob Glen Beck, believe that the cats are responsible for Obama's victory in the presidential election. "These heathen liberal cats are a menace to society and should be put in Gitmo for life."

Hordes of cats, dogs, skunks and a peacock have been pouring into MA to stand guard at the polls tomorrow.  Bite and Run Brigades are on red alert. 

Unfortunately the Commonwealth does not recognize an animal's right to vote. (evidence of this was seen in Salem's mayoral election when Zevo hussein Calamari had a sweeping victory over Kimberly Driscoll and yet Driscoll is now the current mayor.)

A statement was released today by spokes-poose Zevo Calamari: "People of the Commonwealth.. do you really want to repeat the GW Chimp years by allowing Brown to win? Have you lost your memory? Would a good bite on the ankle restore it? Like DAH!..... Do you remember how we got in this mess?  Iraq, Election Fraud, Iran,  Plame-gate, Blackwater, Haliburton, Bank Bailouts, Recession, Depression, Obsessions, Torture, Wiretaps, Corruption, Wars for OIL, Rush, O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, Hate, Discrimination, Lies, FOX NEWS, Katrina and a trillion dollar debt, .......

We want YOU to get your lazy butts out there tomorrow and vote like your life depends on it. ..... or else.....Vote for Martha Coakley!"

This message has been approved by Pooses for Coakley

French Press Quotes Depp's Wife

"J'ai fait ces chats méchants partir de ce matin. Mes chevilles saignent. Les enfants pleurent. Ils ne sont plus bienvenus ici. "Vanessa Paradise

Translation: I made those nasty cats leave this morning. My ankles are bleeding. The children are crying. They are no longer welcome here.

NBC Execs Latest Targets of Bite & Run

Associated Press

NBC Studios

An  NBC  secret meeting for   greedy bastards  executives only, was interrupted unexpectedly today.  Hordes of cats, dogs, a few skunks and a peacock wearing SAVE COCO  shirts stormed into  the room from the windows, beneath tables and out of ceiling ducts to launch the first  Bite & Run attack of 2010. 

NBC executive Dick Ebersol, who trashed Conan O'Brien in an interview with the New York Times, calling Conan an "astounding failure" was heard screaming WHAT THE F&%K is on my leg.... Aaaaaachooooooooooooo.... HELP! Ouch........ 

While Jeff Tucker who threatened Conan "I will keep you off the air for 3.5 years" was bit, scratched by cats, pecked by the peacock and sprayed by a skunk for 3.5 minutes. 

Both men were taken to an undisclosed hospital and reported in stable condition. Unconfirmed sources report that a cat wearing scrubs ran off with their pain medication and antihistamines. All executives in the room have reported missing iPhones, Rolexes, credit cards. A biohazard team was called in to rid the room of the noxious odor left.

Authorities believe this is the work of the infamous domestic terrorist group known as the Pooses for Peace. The group, is led by celebrity cats Zevo hussein Calamari, Boo and Miss Lucy Fur along with their cohorts, too numerous to name. Calamari and her best friends were seen yesterday sipping Pastis with Johnny Depp in the south of France. However the cats command legions of Bite & Run brigades and could have easily ordered an attack from anywhere in the world.

Miss Zevo Calamari released a statement:"Bon Jour! NB see ya!  Do you think these scrubs make me look fat? Could we have another bottle of Pastis... see if this credit cards works....."

Wine and Cheese with Johnny Depp

The photo shoot went well with Donatella. We were able to shoot Boo for the Italian Vogue, Miss Lucy Fur for the British Vogue and myself for the French Vogue. Those issues do not come out until September. I do hope they air brush those extra pounds we put on over the holidays.

We are now staying with Johnny in Southern France. Such a lovely man...but alas

 his cranky wife and horrid children are also here so it will be a short visit. His wife does not like us. I have no idea why. Um like i  didn't mean to um bite her ankle at the Oscars a few years back...... Those French can not take a joke. Dah! 

Oh...Johnny be a dear and pour us all more wine... and that cheese is to die for!

Meanwhile at the Casino Calamari

Zevo left me and Luna in charge of running Casino Calamari while she is in Europe with her BFFs Boo and Miss Lucy Fur. 

Kind of rude of her to leave Luna and i behind. Though- who cares about fashion? As a Jedi, i only need a few good robes and a working light saber. And Donatella Versace scares me. 

I think it is time to shake things up a bit. We need a few new acts at the Casino, so i called my friend Charo and invited her to perform for a week.  By the time Zevo finds out Charo will be gone. (Luna does not care what i do... all she cares about is her mousie laser and her ballet lessons.) 

So join us this week at the Casino Calamari for a Cuchi Chuchi time with Charo! Our margarita fountain will be overflowing with  Jose Cuervo and there will be an all you can eat tuna taco buffet, along with some great catnip brownies!

May the Force be with you

nubi wan kenobi, jedi poose

p.s. please don't tell Zevo

House of Versace Live Fur Collection

Benvenuti cari gatti!  Come sta il mio caro amico George? Ti ho fatto uno bei vestiti! Si prega di portare il vino più caro per questi gatti!

ohhh aaaa Welcome dear-ay catses! How'sa my dear-a friend-a Georgie? I-a made-a you soma-a nice-a clothes!  Pleaseeeaaa bring-a da wine for dese catses!

Clooney Gives Miss Boo Pearls?

TMZ

CELEBRITY UPDATES

Celebrity feline, Miss Boo of the Pooses for Peace was seen wearing a new strand of pearls rumored to be a gift from George Clooney today. Last week Clooney invited the cats to be guests at his villa in Italy. 

No word yet if Clooney has actually committed to a wedding date with Miss Boo. Unconfirmed sources believe he postponed planning a wedding until his latest movie is completed later this year. Clooney is back on location today filming and the cats were seen leaving his villa via a solar powered limo.

Boo and her cohorts, Zevo Calamari and Miss Lucy Fur took a day to ski the Italian Alps before they leave for Versace headquaters in Milan tomorrow. The cats will be modeling Donatella Versace's spring line in the March issue of Vogue. The theme will be Live Fur... How to Wear It. 

Jedi Cat Helps Wolf Escape

By Associated Press
Tuesday, January 5, 2010

IPSWICH — Police say a wolf that escaped from a Massachusetts wolf sanctuary has returned home on its own and was inebriated.

The 5-year-old female named Nina escaped Wolf Hollow sometime between 6:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. on Monday.

Police Lt. Daniel Moriarty says the animal returned to the sanctuary at about 11 p.m. Moriarty said the wolf apparently climbed up a snowdrift in its pen to get out and was unable to get back inside on its own.

Unconfirmed sources believe that this was the work Jedi cat, Nubi wan Kenobi a member of the infamous Pooses for Peace. Nubi wan wanting to surprise his pet human with a gift for Little Christmas, lured the wolf from the Ipswich sanctuary and rode back to Salem on her back last night. Homeland Security believes that Nina the wolf has joined the Pooses for Peace and was somehow involved in the outburst during Mayor Driscoll's inauguration yesterday.

According to Salem locals, hordes of cats, dogs and skunks held protest signs outside the inauguration ceremony yesterday morning demanding a recount. Pooses for Peace Zevo Calamari was the write in choice for the mayoral election in November. Salem authorities did not count the votes cast by the thousands of cats, dogs, skunks and a few raccoons for Miss Calamari, thus declaring Driscoll the winner. Tensions between Driscoll and Mz Calamari have escalated to a new level.

Extra security was brought in for the ceremony and sources believe the mayor once again wore ankle and knee guards under her only black suit for fear of another Bite & Run incident. However, much to the surprise of everyone the attack did not take place. For some odd reason Mayor Driscoll's black suit was covered in a large amount of fur after the ceremony. She was seen febreezing her pants and taking an antihistamine.

A strange odor did permeate the ceremony and several of those who attended reported their iPhones and earrings to be missing. Others began sneezing and gagging. EMT and Biohazard units were sent in.

Zevo hussein Calamari has been spotted dining with her cohorts in Italy last evening.

Miss Calamari released a statement this morning " Ciao Bella! What wolf? What earrings? George, please pour us another glass of the please."

Detoxing at the Golden Door

We had such a lovely time on New Years Eve.. it is too bad none of us can remember much. I do remember drinking lots of blue moont-inis, blue jello shots and dancing on table tops. Everything else is a blurr.

At least this year Miss Lucy Fur did not go off her meds like 2007's gala! Click here if you don't remember!

Miss Lucy Fur's house was so much fun to trash too after the party at Mo's. We hope those dogs get blamed for the mess!

Miss Boo thought it would be a good idea for us to detox for a few days at our favorite spa The Golden Door in Escondido before we leave for Europe. A few days of massages, yoga and organic bloody marys should do the trick. We need to lose a few pounds quickly.

We have been invited to stay at George Clooney's Italian Villa, Miss Boo misses George and maybe this time he will commit to a wedding date. There is a rumor he is cheating on her. We will take care of that!

Johnny Depp has been begging us to visit him in France, we can only hope his ill tempered wife will not be there this time. So many invites so little time. It is snowing in Salem so there is no need to hurry back. Nubi and Luna diPoosalita are returning to Salem and they can take care of running the casino and other "businesses".

Oh,,,,,our free range chicken platters have arrived. Pass me the catnip salad please.
ciao ciao for now
kiss kiss
zevo

Happy 2010

all we are saying .... is give peace a chance!
Wishing you and your loved ones a Happy New Decade filled with peace, love and catnip!

love
the pooses for peace

p.s. as you all know we have not been able to visit any cat blogs since we operate on an antique mac. We have a Pooses for Peace fan page on facebook and now Zevo hussein Calamari has her own friend page on facebook which will make it easier for her to comment on any of your facebook pages. Please do ask to be her friend!

Happy New Years Eve

AP
Hillcrest, CA

The rainbow section of San Diego known as Hillcrest has been flooded with hordes of well dressed cats and celebrities today, coming in from all over the country. Tonight the celebrity cats known as the Pooses for Peace will be holding their New Years Eve gala at Mo's, (formerly known as Hamburger Mary's).

Miss Lucy Fur and Miss Boo who still live in Hillcrest coordinated the last minute party details. Extra tequila has been brought up from Mexico for the party. Unconfirmed sources report that George Clooney may be escorting Miss Boo to the party. Donatella Versace flew in this morning with couture for the cats to wear this evening.

Miss Lucy Fur, BFF with Oprah has brought in Racheal Ray to cook for the evening. Many are concerned that Miss Lucy Fur is once again off her medication. The last time the cats had a party at MO's the San Diego swat team was called in for a cat fight started by Lucy Fur. Dr Phil filed a restraining order against Miss Fur two years ago.

Members of the Bite & Run, Poot and Run and Poop and Run brigades have been invited. There are too many to name. (We apologize for not providing links to all the cats attending or invited since we are typing on an iBook that has been feuding with blogger.com)

Paparazzi are hoping ex presidential canditate Cheysuli will be attending the party this year. Her former bodyguard, Nubi wan Kenobi arrived with roomie Zevo Calamari this morning and prima ballerina Luna diPoosalita aka Twinkle Toes. Monkay the thumbed cat along with Che Nikki the rebel schnauzer is also rumoured to be attending.

Another rumour floating through the poose world is that Zevo's pet human may be getting a newer ibook and will actually be able to visit more cat blogs in the new year.

Wishing all pooses and their loved ones a Happy Healthy Prosperous and Pooserific New Year!

New Years Eve Party Moved to San Diego

Zevo .... please call me!

I hear that another snow storm will be hitting your area tomorrow. Let's move the New Years Party from Casino Calamari to Mo's in San Diego...then afterwards we can have a house-trashing party at my place.

Miss Lucy Fur and i will take care of all the details. Bring your tiara and flip flops! I guess you can bring Nubi and Luna diPoosalita too!!

See you later.
ciao ciao
boo

Ivana Trump Blames Cats for Mishap on Plane

Just one day after a man attempted to blow up a plane, Ivana Trump blew up at passengers before take-off, launching obscenities at cats wearing tiaras aboard the flight to New York.

The former wife of Donald Trump apparently got angry about her seat assignment in first class when she boarded the Delta-Northwest flight. Trump began screaming "I will not sit near those f--king cats. They are nothing but trouble. I know what they did to Lindsey Lohan." Flight attendants offered her a different seat in first class. But she quickly became infuriated at the cats on the plane who began to taunt her about wearing fur and tacky leather pants.

The tabloid THE POST also spoke with a 10-year-old witness, Vincent Cone, who claims that the 60-year-old woman flipped out at the cute cats. "The reason she got so upset was the cats were laughing at her and she started screaming, 'I want my earrings and iPod back now or you will be made into my next coat,'" said Cone. "I liked the cats. They were very funny and they all looked so cute wearing those tiaras. I wish my cat at home dressed nice too."

When flight attendants told Ivana that she was getting kicked off the plane, Trump rushed toward the cockpit, according to Cone. Pilots told her to leave, but she refused to disembark from the plane and the cats helped to move her out of the plane by biting her ankles and knees. After she was off the plane the cats ordered a bottle of champagne and watched the movie That Darn Cat.

No charges have been filed against Mz Trump. She claims that her iPod, earrings and diamond rings and watch are missing.

Deja Vu... Jimmy Buffett Stranded at Casino Calamari...

Unconfirmed sources report that Jimmy Buffett is snowed in..again... at the Casino Calamari in Salem, MA. Even though the mandatory No Parking Don't Even Think About Parking Ever Snow ban was not in effect, his tour bus was forced to park in the Salem Ferry Lot, which has not seen a snow plow in days. ( It seems that every time Mr Buffett visits the Casino Calamari he gets stranded there.) Odd coincidence....

Mayor Kimberley Driscoll is not happy that the Salem Police have been called in..again.. due to the loud singing and noise coming from the Casino on Christmas night. A birthday party honoring Mr Buffett was given by his close friends, The Pooses for Peace.

The celebrity cats have been nothing but a thorn in her side since she became the mayor of Salem. (Unconfirmed sources say the Mayor is miffed she was not invited to the party due to her poor fashion sense and her refusal to wear a coconut bra with the mandatory parrot head grass skirt instead of her black suit.)

Cats wearing coconut bras, grass skirts and leis invited the police to join the party. Several of the cats had parrots perched on their tiaras. Mayor Kimberly Driscoll denies all reports of Salem Police drinking margaritas and sporting grass skirts. (The mayor is concerned that the Salem Police have already had enough bad press due to the You-Tube incidents that happened near Halloween a year ago.)

At this time the music and noise continues at the Casino Calamari. Un-manned police cars are still parked outside the Casino. The neighbors who filed the complaint have since been seen wearing orchid leis over their parkas, while drinking margaritas and dancing in the snow,

Merry Buffetmas!

Happy Birthday Jimmy Buffett!
Today is a Pastafarian Holy Day.

Tonight at the Casino Calamari

Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Pooses

All you can drink margaritas and shots of tequila!
Poose buffet of ham, tuna and cat nip brownies
Bring your own parrothead attire

A Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us!

Happy Festivus!

We invite everyone to our Festivus Celebration at the Casino Calamari tonight. We will be putting up our pole at 5:00 pm followed by the reciting of the List of Grievances and then the Strengths of Feat.

The cast of Seinfeld will be there to party with us! We will be serving a Festivus holiday meal of tuna, ham and turkey with Nip-tinis and margaritas for all,


Wishing everyone a Festivus Miracle!

the pooses for peace

Festivus Eve Rantings

Tomorrow is Festivus, which means it is time for me to compose my list of grievances for the Festivus celebration. They are pretty much the same as last years with a few more additions. Obviously the pet humans did not pay attention to them again.

So far this is my list:

Where is the dog you promised me? Luna is not a dog. You were supposed to adopt a dog for me...not another cat who has large feet. I want a dog and i want it now.

I do not like that the female pet human leaves for several hours each day. She should stay home and nap with me.

The male pet human should feed me more and allow me to go outside without supervision.

I do not think it is fair that Zevo has seniority over me. Just because she has been with them for 16.5 years and i have only been with them for 3 is just not right. And it is totally unfair they adopted Luna diPoosalita with out my permission. Oh and her feet are enormous.

Luna should not be allowed near my crunchies. And she needs to stay away from the female pet human. She is mine. I do not like the pet human telling her how poosie she is or complimenting her "twinkle toes", My feet are really cute too.

I think they should buy me some real birds to chase around the house this Christmas instead of the fake birdie toys.

I should be paid $5 every time they scream "Nubi get down off of that_________!"(fill in the blank) Then i could retire and buy my own dog.

I do NOT appreciate the female pet human's singing ...especially when she sings that "Smelly Cat" song while cleaning the cat box. Nor do i appreciate her calling me a "poose-head" when i am causing trouble.

I have many more complaints...but it is my nap time.

Wishing everyone a Happy Festivus for the rest of us.

love,

nubi wan kenobi, Jedi poose

p.s. Join us tomorrow for our annual Festivus party at the Casino Calamari.

Boston Ballet Welcomes Twinkle Toes Calamari

The Boston Ballet will performing the Nutcracker Ballet tonight at the Wang Theater. Prima Ballerina Twinkle Toes Calamari aka as Luna diPoosalita will make her debut tonight as the Sugar Plum Fairy. Miss Toes was trained by the infamous Mikhail Baryshnikov.

Other Pooses for Peace members will also be dancing in the ballet tonight. Nubi wan Kenobi will play the part of the mean mouse. The Meezer boys will be dancing as toy soldiers. No word yet if Zevo Calamari, Miss Boo or Miss Lucy Fur will be dancing with the ballet. Rumor has it they are still celebrating Zappadan at the Casino Calamari.

Tickets are still available for tonight's performance.

Tiger Photo Leaked by Zevo Calamari

Madam Zevo Calamari, unconfirmed owner of the Brothel Calamari has released a statement today: "This is the picture of Tiger that i keep in my locket, with a strand of his fur. We spent time together when his mate was not in their den. I did not know he had cubs. I am not a hooker. It was true love. My heart is broken........ and um like.. ...does this lycra tiger print make me look fat?.... Pass me a shot of tequila please......"

Paparazzi Camped Outside Casino Calamari

Associated Press
Salem MA

The paparazzi has been camped outside the infamous Casino Calamari since Friday. Camera crews and news hounds have been hoping to catch a glimpse of Madam Zevo Calamari and her friends, Miss Boo and a Miss Lucy Fur after rumors spread about Tiger Woods leaving their so called house of ill repute known as the Brothel Calamari. The domestic terrorist cats have not been seen since the Zappadan party last Friday night.

Authorities are still searching the entire city of Salem for the brothel and have yet to find its location. Mayor Kimberly Driscoll has called for back up detectives and the FBI to help locate the illegal "cat house". "These cats are a menace to society. This is NOT the kind of tourist attraction we want Salem to be known for! ,.... Um.....Where is my iPhone and what is that smell?"

As of tonight at least 8 possibly 10 women have claimed to have had affairs with Tiger Woods. One can only imagine what the number is if it is true he visited the Brothel Calamari.

Tiger Woods Seen Leaving Brothel Calamari

TMZ
BREAKING NEWS......

Unconfirmed sources claim to have seen Tiger Woods leaving the famed Brothel Calamari on several occasions this year. No photos have surfaced yet of these claims.The infamous brothel is allegedly run by the domestic terrorist feline Zevo hussein Calamari and her cohorts, the Pooses for Peace. Authorities in Salem have not been able to locate the brothel. Salem's mayor, Kim Driscoll has called for undercover police to search for the house of ill repute and arrest those running it. "Those wretched cats will be prosecuted as soon as we have evidence."

Madam Calamari refused to give an interview on Larry King or to make an appearance on The View. She released a statement this morning: "What brothel? What tigers? Do these golf shoes make me look fat? Pass me a martini please."

Merry Zappadan!

Tis the season of
Zappadan December 4th through December 21

We pooses are all way to young to remember Frank Zappa. However, Zappadan is a very important holiday according to our pet human.

Frank Zappa was born in the very same hospital as our pet human ...and passed away on her birthday in 1993. (She took it personal...and needless to say she was very excited to hear that others dedicated a season to him that starts on her birthday)

The festival of Zappadan runs from the date of Frank's death, 12/4, through the date of his birth, 12/21.

We would like to invite everyone to celebrate Zappadan at the Casino Calamari for the entire season.

Bring your own dental floss, and we will provide entertainment, munchies and of course tequila.

Oh... and a happy birthday to our pet human. (We think she would like this quote too!)

“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”
Frank Zappa

Happy Birthday Nubi wan Kenobi!

It is Nubi wan Kenobi's birthday. ....Famed Jedi Knight, member of the Pooses for Peace and bodyguard to Meezer Ex-presidential candidate Cheysuli.

A birthday party will be held on the Forest Moon of Endor tonight.
Music by the Cantina Band

Star Wars attire is required.
Bring your own light saber.


Space shuttle leaves from the Salem Ferry lot at noon.

May the Force be with you!

Celebrate the Divine Miss M's Birthday at the Casino Calamari!

You are invited to celebrate Bette Midler's Birthday
Tonight at the Casino Calamari
7:00 pm - whenever the Salem PD gets here

cat-Nip-tinis and all you can eat sea food buffet

Music by the Divine Miss M
with special back up vocals by the Furettes

bring your own mermaid costume

The First Thanksgiving

On the first Thanksgiving, the stow-away cats aboard the Mayflower held a feast with the Indian cats who befriended them when they entered this new land. Together they smoked the peace pipe, drank rum and danced to the beat of the native drums.

Unlike their human counterparts, the English pooses remained friends with their new Indian friends and respected their customs and their land.

Today pooses in America celebrate this day with a feast, rum and an occasional toke on the catnip peace-pipe while watching the Macy's Day parade in hopes of seeing the Cat in the Hat balloon.

We wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving!

We apologize for not being able to visit all the wonderful cat blogs and leave comments.
If you are on facebook please let us know so we can comment there!

Miss Lucy Fur on Oprah!

Today on Oprah

Miss Lucy Fur, celebrity cat and BFF with Oprah will share her Thanksgiving recipes for turkey stuffed with tuna, shrimp and ham and her famous tuna flavored nip-tinis

Will Miss Lucy Fur give us the scoop on Miss Boo and George Clooney's pending nuptials?
Is she still taking her medication? And is she romantically involved with the Queen's Royal Corgi again?

Stay tuned .........

Pirate Cats Return Missing Tall Ship

Salem MA


The Friendship, Salem’s beloved tall ship, is finally home. Crowds cheered and waved hankies as the Friendship sailed into Salem's Derby Wharf today. Aboard the ship was Captain Jack Sparrow and the celebrity cats The Pooses for Peace in full pirate regalia and very inebriated.

A modern replica of the 1797 East Indiaman, the ship is normally docked at the Salem Maritime National Historic Site at Derby Wharf, where it’s open for tours throughout the week.

Since May, however, The National Park Service claims that the ship has been in Boothbay Harbor, Maine, for repairs. Unconfirmed sources revealed that the ship was actually hijacked earlier this year by the domestic pirate group known as the Pooses for Peace and Captain Jack Sparrow. To save face the City of Salem agreed to play along with the ship needs repair story. The cats and the Mayor of Salem have had tumultuous relationship the past several years. And it has not improved recently.

Mayor Kimberley Driscoll attended the ceremony wearing ankle guards under her only black drab suit for fear of another Bite and Run attack by the cats. As the ship pulled in, her nemesis, Zevo hussein Calamari waved and called out "Hi Kimmie.... is that a new iPhone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" The mayor, believing Zevo to be in Italy was surprised and reached for her new iPhone to call the Salem PD, ....when it was instantly snatched from her hands by what appeared to be a black cat wearing a Jedi robe. (The Salem PD was too busy guarding the construction near the Tavern on the Square to respond anyway.)

Mayor Drisoll made the statement" We are so happy to have the Friendship back in our city. Those responsible for this travesty will be punished. And where is my iPhone? OH my.....is that Captain Jack Sparrow?"


Zevo Calamari also issued a statement "What iPhone? Does this pirate hat make me look fat? Jack darlin' pass me the rum. "

Zevo Calamari Forced to Go to V-E-T

The nerve of my pet human! Can you believe she had me leave Milan just so she could take me to the V-E-T?

I was having such a lovely time with Donatella and her closet. Miss Boo and Lucy Fur are still in Italy with George Clooney and those Royal Corgies. So unfair... and the V-E-T did not even notice ii was wearing Versace. Really! At least she gave me some good nip. And she said i was quite the beauty for my age. But did she have to poke me and take blood? Am i in some Twilight movie? There were werewolves at the V-E-Ts. I heard them howling in the other room. It did not seem to phase the pet human. Then again she has a thing for wolves.

I am now home and protesting on the pile of laundry that needs to be folded. I think cat hair on all her black clothes is a nice way to show my appreciation. I just peed outside the box again too.

Can someone bring me a magazine and a Nip-tini?

Celebrity Cats Spotted in Milan

Poose-cam live at the House of Versace

Benvenuti cari amici!
Farò un bel vestito per tutti voi. Mi dispiace tanto su quegli elettori stupidi a Salem.
Si prega di portare questi gatti poveri del prosciutto e del vino e Manolos.


translation for the mangia cakes:
Welcome my dear friends!
I make-a a nice pretty dress for all of you....no? I'm-a so sorry about those stupidido voters in Salem. Please bring-a these poor cats some-a ham and-a wine and Manolos

Arrivederci Salem

Andiamo in Italia per riposare. Addio si gente stupida di Salem. Si dovrebbe avere votato per me.

Buona fortuna con la donna in nero

Per la mangia cakes...."We go to italy to rest. Goodbye you stupid people of Salem. You should have voted for me. Good fortune with the woman in black!"

Pooses for Peace Make Guest Appearance at John Prine Concert

Associated Press
Boston MA

John Prine fans were ecstatic this evening when the infamous Pooses for Peace joined him on stage mid-concert to sing back up vocals to Illegal Smile, That's the Way that the World Goes Round and Your Flag Decal Won't Get you into Heaven Anymore. The celebrity cats stayed for the entire concert and back stage party. The audience was filled with cats, dogs and a few raccoons. Prine fans did not seem to care.

Unconfirmed sources report that the cats are on their way to Italy to stay with Miss Boo's fiance, George Clooney. On Tuesday Zevo Calamari lost the Salem election for mayor to her nemesis Kimberly Driscoll. Her efforts for a recount were ignored. Her cohorts decided it was best to wisk her away to Italy for some rest after the trauma.

Scenes from WItch City Halloween NIght!

Hi everyone!
Zevo's pet human here to tell you that Zevo and her friends are on their way to Italy with George Clooney to recover from the halloween madness and of course the election drama. We are sorry we cannot visit many of your blogs since they seem to crash our old iMac.

Here are a few pics from Halloween night. We hope to post more soon when we can figure out how to get them off of this stolen um borrowed blackberry that Zevo "found".

Zevo Calamari Demands Recount!

Associated Press
Salem MA

Zevo hussein Calamari the write in candidate running for Mayor of Salem is demanding a recount of yesterday's vote.
According to Miss Calamari thousands of cats, dogs and skunks came out to vote and were turned away at the polls.

"This is exactly the same thing that happened to presidential candidate Cheysuli . This is discrimination. We are being treated like...like.. animals! The nerve. Oh do i look fat holding this blackberry? Pass me some of that tequila please. "

In other Salem news, Mayor Kimberley Driscoll and her $20,000 raise held a victory party at the Hawthorne Hotel. Extra security was posted around the premises to protect the mayor and her black suit from another Bite & Run attack. Unconfirmed sources claim the mayor wore ankle and knee guards under her suit. Her new blackberry is reported missing.